Cross-country wrestling

Fun to imagine, but it pales in comparison to Olympic Hide and Seek, by the masters of sports mashups, Monty Python.

[A sports mashup that combines cross-country running with wrestling]

Gastroetymologist

A person who studies the origin of the word intestines.

[Mashup of gastroenterologist and etymologist]

Gastroentomologist

Either a person who eats insects — or someone who studies a person who eats insects.

[Mashup of gastroenterologist and entomologist]

Microwave freezer

Food too hot? Pop it into the microwave freezer for 10 seconds. Run out of ice cubes at your dinner party? Problem solved in less than 5 minutes.

[Mashing up the convenience of a microwave oven with the function of a freezer]

When hamsters die

Jeremy was shocked to find his hamster floating belly-up against the wires at the top of its cage.

[Mashing up hamsters with what happens when a goldfish dies]

Incontinental Airlines

Finally, an airline that offers a 1:1 ratio of seats to lavatories.

[A mashup of Continental Airlines and incontinent]

No thanks, I’m just browsing

Eric walks into a large plant nursery. Surrounded by lush potted plants, he selects an attractive hibiscus and proceeds to casually eat the leaves from its branches. A concerned salesperson walks up to him quickly.

“Excuse me, may I help you?” the salesperson asks.

“No thanks,” Eric answers. “I’m just browsing.”

[Mashing up two meanings of browse: the act of a herbivore eating plants; and the act of shopping without intending to purchase.]