Legature

The lower part of the human body, in which two distinct musculo-skeletal structures join to form a single unit capable of locomotion.

[Mashup of leg and ligature.]

Egostatistical

A word to describe people who provide detailed, numerical evidence to explain how much better they are than everyone else.

[Mashup of ego and statistical.]

Desserter

Someone who enjoys a lovely restaurant meal with a group of friends, excuses themself to “use the facilities” after finishing their delicious creme brulee, then makes a quiet escape and leaves everyone else to cover the tab.

[Mashup of dessert and deserter.]

Composter child

A person whose actions or behavior are ideal examples of supporting the environmental movement.

Example: “Sarah wants to be seen as the composter child for her grade 1 class. Every day at lunch, she collects food scraps from her classmates, then hides them in a vacant desk at the back of the room.”

[Mashup of composter and poster child.]

Immortal Danger

When you’re in imminent danger of living forever.

[Mashup of immortal and mortal danger.]

Topical Brain Forest

The hair on your head.

[Mashup of tropical rain forest with topical, brain, and forest.]

Philosoraptor

A vicious and cunning person who attacks ideas that have weak theoretical and conceptual underpinnings.

(Mashup of philosopher and velociraptor)

Christmaween

An annual tradition in some North American sub-cultures. Early on the morning of December 25th, children go door-to-door in their neighborhood to ask for presents.

(Mashing up Christmas with Halloween)

A question for everyone named Doug

Does it become annoying that people always refer to you in the past tense?

(Mashing up the name with the past tense of “to dig“)

Unnaturopathy

A school of medical philosophy and practice that seeks to improve health by circumventing the body’s innate capacity to recover from illness and injury. Makes heavy use of manufactured pharmaceuticals and invasive instruments. Practitioners are known as unnaturopaths.

Wait a minute, why does that almost sound like a description of modern Western medicine…?

(Mashup of naturopathy and unnatural)

Obosolete

An old woodwind instrument that you no longer play because you replaced it with something newer.

(Mashup of oboe and obsolete)

Central Meat Maggot

Mashing up the name of what may be Kitchener, Ontario’s oldest grocery store.

A few years ago, the Central Meat Market renamed itself to Central Fresh Market. Question is, does changing the name actually make it so?

Brainharvest Headhouse

A popular bakery — especially around Halloween.

(Mashing up the name of Grainharvest Breadhouse in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada.)

Wedding cartographer

Wedding cartographers produce seating plans that don’t just resolve the inevitable conflicts of who should or should not sit next to whom — they produce those plans in exacting detail. Each table and chair is identified by latitude and longitude, GPS coordinates, and elevations. Notable features in the reception hall are carefully located and identified via a comprehensive visual legend. May be extended with an option for detailed wedding topography.

[Mashup of cartography and wedding photography]